my birthday treat to you

so it was my birthday week and here’s my treat to you: new version of blizzard boyfriend featuring my sexy [blondetourage] blizzard girlfriends. enjoy responsibly :)

cinematography by chillah.

for the sober original version, click here.

le progrès paris

le progrès || 1 rue de bretagne, le marais district, paris, france

fee fie foe foie,
i smell the cafe full of cool parisians.

why this is my favorite cafe:

1. they don’t have a website [aka they are snobbish cool, just like you & me]

2. they are located in the middle of a 6-street intersection = massive people-watching haven

3. their food is solid. yum.

4. this is the hip hangout with cool [and pretty] people & right next door to a modeling agency & various fashion houses. models & artists central.

5. their servers are consistently entertaining. [one tried to “pimp out” his younger colleague to us…]

with all the positives, i was able to forgive them for not having wifi.

my favorite here, salade gourmande au foie gras + magret de canard fumé: foie gras + smoked duck breast + haricots verts + tomatoes + greens, drizzled with the perfect citrus vinaigrette 20140805-175541.jpgsalad la parisienne: ham + cheese + egg + tomatoes + simple greens 20140805-175640.jpgcool artifacts…20140805-175725.jpgthen i spy 3 guys…20140805-175801.jpghow to pick up on 3 [cute] guys?20140805-175835.jpgpretend to have a parisian cigarette “vogue” right behind them & eavesdrop [like a super creeper] & wait for the right moment to attack start up convo…20140805-180204.jpgphotobomb-kiss by a passerby. i was caught & the targets are leaving…20140805-180308.jpgmission failed. pretend nothing ever happened. denydenydeny. 20140805-180352.jpggoodbye. we’ll never see you again.20140805-180447.jpgbut tomorrow will be another day! 20140805-180541.jpg
and then le progres revisited…
20140805-180648.jpgback for lunch with my favorite, the lovely fashionista paula who i met at cannes years ago! and it happens to be her birthday today!!! parabéns linda!20140809-183730.jpgif it’s delicious, why not get it again? their foie gras has that extra spark in it, infused with magical wine & such. perfect. more than reasonably priced. 20140809-183757.jpgsteak tartare was seasoned well.20140809-183826.jpgcafe viennois was our staple caffeine. yum.20140809-185646.jpgand finally, our last visit here was a wonderful farewell of whiskey drinking games + adventures + lotto tickets.

you win some, you lose some.
but whœuf they are handsome.

if you’re in the mood for fancy, then I guess you already know about matignon

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animal.

animal || 435 north fairfax avenue, los angeles, ca 90036 || 323-782-9225

me: if you were to be a dinosaur, which would you be and why? i’d be pterodactyl so i can fly + oversee everything.

he: i think you’d be t-rex.

me: …cuz i can be such a man meat-eating heartless [queen] b*tch?

he: cuz when the bill comes, your arms are so short, you can’t reach the bill.

returning from such a long hiatus, you’d think i’d have some animal cooler than a llama to post [does that exist?], but no, just food. from the restaurant, animal, where males and females are [wom]animals, the omnivores that we were created to be. it’s a “thing” ya know. first walking in, it’s a dimly lit, casual cool setting with a lot of tables full of animals feasting on their latest kill, sniffing their next bambi-esque victim made of wood, very reminiscent of new york, [or am i just missing it?] especially traif, except minus the foie gras. here goes:

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starting from a semi-blank slate

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resembles classic barf but the best gnocchi i’ve had as of late: ricotta gnocchi + 6-hour bolognese. i had one piece & i already felt full. so rich.

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hamachi tostada – one of my favorites not just because it was raw + light + refreshing but probably because it was raw + light + refreshing with an asian flair to it.

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veal brains. i tried it. it’s like other animal brains. brains will be brains. #hannibal

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uni dish. almost like a greek salad, but with uni.

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spicy beef tendon chips w/charred onion pho dip – this dip was phenomenal. all the flavors of vietnam in a dip.

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chicken liver toast – as great as everyone hypes it up to be. the additional concentrated caramelized onion on top was a happy surprise.

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crispy pig head. wasn’t too crazy bout this. i was looking for a fattier texture in the meat.

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“toad in a hole” basically duck egg, truffle, english pea, french ham, gruyere. more like a brunch piece.

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poutine, oxtail gravy, cheddar. basically fancy chili cheese fries.

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roasted bone marrow with chimichurri sauce. great, but FAT, but great. bone marrows are easy to make, but this sauce really did it for me.

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help. i want to tap out already. but notice their dinner napkins with a buttonhole. can be attached as your baby bib, or to your fancy cuff links.

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fried rabbit legs. couldn’t touch this. i don’t eat adorable little bunnies anymore – i made a promise.

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crispy broccoli [yay, something else healthy!] slathered in pancetta vinaigrette that tasted of butter sauce, soft egg, & parmesan

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yellowtail collar, jerk spices, watermelon radish, citrus, palm sugar. this was another light + refreshing dish with an asian flair done well.

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fried chicken wings.

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melted p’tit basque & chorizo. i couldn’t touch it.

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if “flirt with me & love me” were to ever be translated into a dessert, it’d be this LOVELY one: blueberry, frozen brown butter crumble, yogurt, bay leaf ice cream topped with purple edible flowers.

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interesting [but not a fave] dessert: meyer lemon sherbet, frozen citrus, white chocolate, malted milk

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this photo doesn’t do justice to my other favorite dessert: cheesecake pudding, passionfruit, seascape strawberries, graham. perfectly balanced so it’s surprisingly not heavy at all.

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errrthang on the menu, almost, except a few.

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warning: beer & wines only – no hard liquor. the scotch enthusiast at our table [me] was quite disappointed. but i did enjoy the last bottle of the rosé we chose.

i was shocked to have eaten so much cooked, hearty food that by the end, i felt i had transformed into the beast. a heavy yet exciting journey this was!

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…so then the beast roamed the streets of los angeles, ripping apart palm trees and claiming bentleys.